Aubade
Song of the morning. Winter bliss.
The things that were. Won’t ever be. The songs we sang have
dried up in our throats. The melodies morphed back into pain.
A thousand clouds, just a star or two. Beneath the leafless tree,
a manic brain on a moonless sky. Flashing satin phantoms in the night. Whispers
in the trees. Gentle laps on the stream. In the darkness, eyes become ears;
blinking in the infinite emptiness of nocturnal and thoughts, wholesome
darkness that can be touched. Darkness that enshrouds.
I’ll rip a little bit of it and wear its black as a crown
for pain. The rest I shall stuff in the voids of my soul to make me feel whole.
A tear then two. Torrents from a clouded soul. Rushing
breath and muffled heaves.Oh, that I had the patience of the Biblical Ayub. Oh,
that this night was subtle then I wouldn’t be lying out here in the cold with my
hair full of dust. I wouldn't be here sprawled on the ground with a knife on my
left hand and a Bible on my right. I would be elsewhere, curled up in bed pretending to sleep. Feel that? A fire white ghost rising up from
my depths, thrusting into the night, getting lost in the mystery of dark.
Feel that? The tingling on my tongue?I tasted both tear and
sweat.The thrills and filth of life.Look?!The threads of friendships that were
beautifully woven.The homes that we built in fellow humans,they are
burning!Glowing like dancing gypsies in the dark .Musky. Sombre.
Walls I built so high are now crumbling and crushing my very
self.I take the knife in my right hand.The Bible falls to the ground.Its open
pages being ruffled by the wind.I know that somewhere in the clouds,an angel
watches,perturbed.
I wont be cutting my arm tonight.Tonight,it’s the heart I shall set free.Free from the pain of belonging.Free from the emptiness that chokes and burns.
I wont be cutting my arm tonight.Tonight,it’s the heart I shall set free.Free from the pain of belonging.Free from the emptiness that chokes and burns.
I was here.I was human.I treaded upon ugly paths.I walked
upon this land’s soil and drank of the waters in its wells.I breathed its air
and danced to its music.I am a woman.A song.A flower in full blossom.I am fury
and bate.Versatile.Mercurial.A sunset at noon.
“I was never enough.I was
overly Flawed.Never fair enough.Not for anyone”.Its a whisper grabbed by
the winds of spring.
Now,I lay my head on my dust pillow.A pillow sated with my
own tears.Now I let the winds rush into my lungs.Winds I might never find on
the other shore.Now,I sigh and close my eyes.I want to feel the knife break
through my skin,sink into my heart.I want to feel the warmth of the blood in my
veins.I want to hold deaths bloody hand and dance my soul away.Then if I make
it to the other side,where the dead wait to be born,perhaps someone will ask;Did
it hurt when you died?
To which I shall say.That was one of my many deaths it
didn’t hurt like the rest and yes,pain does heal pain sometimes.
Lyanah.
Wrote this in one of my dark days.To anyone going through this,there's a blue sky beyond the storms.
Lyanah.
Wrote this in one of my dark days.To anyone going through this,there's a blue sky beyond the storms.
The coldness in the lines...this piece is amazing. I hope you found your blue sky.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by.Yes,I found my blue sky
DeleteIndeed, always there's light under the tunnel.
ReplyDeleteYeah.Thank you
DeletePowerful piece phyl 😍
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteGreat work done.kitole...to you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by.Keep reading.
DeleteThis is beautiful,I felt every piece of it,I drowned and sinked with the persona
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by.Keep reading..
DeleteAs we live this life which we don't own,we expect growth,glowth of beautiful roses and in fertile soil(s) but life sometime(s) tosses us and we find ourselves in the dry desert with thorny cactuses.Once here,the expectation(s) make us die.Only the strong survive.May anyone in the desert find courage,hope to rise up,dust up and regrow,re glow.
ReplyDeleteAmen.May we all come out of our struggles alive.Thank you Vinky for going through it.
ReplyDeleteWow! Your writing gets me every time😭😍
ReplyDeleteI'm humbled,Thank you
DeleteDrawn by this,,,, feeling every single line,,, I like this
ReplyDeleteMuch thanks
ReplyDelete